if you’re wearing a stooges shirt, you better have a fucking copy of raw power lying around in your van somewhere.
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Book Domino World Record-Everyone’s talking about how mesmerizing it is, but no one has mentioned yet how soothing and satisfying the physical thunky sound of plastic-bound hardcover books is. My mom is a librarian, I know this sound well.
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ALAIA + MAD MAGAZINE
Its like if stuff my dad likes and stuff I like had a super stylish baby and Simon Doonan was his nanny.
Can they do a Frank Zappa + Dries Van Noten one next?
Oh, Dad. Oh, Barneys.
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HEY KIDS
Posing in skimpy clothing while holding a guitar doesn’t make you sexy or rock and roll:
Fucking tearing it up on a guitar makes you sexy and rock and roll:
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TO DO: Start dressing and acting like Tom Petty all the time
oh Tom Petty, YER SO BAD!
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FASHUNCATZ STAPLEZ: THE ACCESSORIES
If there’s one thing I love, its a NECESSITIES list. However, most “fashion top-ten wardrobe” countdowns, frankly, are full of shit. I’m 22. I’m going to wear an LBD six, maybe seven times out of the year. Are Amanda and I going to don our black wool trousers to get smashed on jumbo margaritas at El Maguey? Hell no. Here, a realistic list for what the modern girl needs.
1) Brown belt
Bam! We might as well change the title of the blawg to “PROFESSORFASHUNBELTZ”, because of our fetish for waist-whittling wardrobes (alliteration, yeah! Thanks liberal arts degree!) Get a brown one, black ones always look a little lame. Also, the longer you have it, the better it looks. Mine’s a men’s j. crew 1 1/4 inch from 2004. (The last maxim only works if its real leather. Nothing ruins a look like pleather. Nothing. Spend the money)
2) Boat N Tote
I took an Aristotle class last semester…and while I spent most of my time drooling over a PARTICULARLY GORGEOUS PHD CANDIDATE (I didn’t hold it against him that he wore an oversized leather scuba jacket), I DO remember the function argument, which stated that a things excellence comes from how well it fulfills its proper function. The Boat N Tote, to me, is the most poetic and elegant fulfillment of this Aristotelian ideal. No frippery, no bullshit. White canvas, those clean, bold straps.It can handle any amount of baggage. It can handle the spin cycle on the toughest washing machine. Like a good brown belt, this thing will never die.
A Boat N Tote looks perfect with everything. Obviously, it goes naturally with its preppy brothers and sisters, the white button down, the duck boot. But it looks super fresh with dresses, it somehow works with a leather jacket, as a gym bag, with a fatigue jacket, a black skirt. It goes to show when something is flawless, trend-less, gimmick-less, it will stand up to whatever you throw at it. Aristotle (or Wayne Campbell) would say, “most excellent”.
3)Ray-Ban Aviators
Good enough for Mr. Turner, good enough for me. I flip-flopped for a while between these and those ubiquitous wayfarers (they’re like Wendy Peffercorn’s from the Sandlot! The high-school lifeguard in me delighted in them!). Maybe when hipster asshole kids graduate to a new eyewear trend, I’ll pick up my pair of wayfarers. Until then, I’ve got my trusty RBs. (This is another item that I could justify paying three digits for. I wear them every. damn. day.)
Also, when I wear them with my motorcycle helmet I can pretend I’m on CHiPs. WIN-WIN!
4) Frye boots
I’ve talked at length about my school girl wish to gradually morph into Tom Waits…but it all started with the boots. The year was 2009. I drove down the highway, down to SoCo, where they specialize in these things, and threw down 190 dollars for a pair of Frye Harness 8rs. To this day, it is the best money I have ever, ever spent. Wear them with anything, really. You’ll get cat-called by hispanic Vietnam vets in old El Caminos. You’ll get instant respect from cobblers when you inevitably go to get them resoled. You’ll pound around in them, get them covered in shit, and wash them in the waters of many different rivers all around the country. They go anywhere.
When I first started interviewing, even when I was alone in my room doing a phone call, I would pull on my Fryes. Why? Because I was nervous as fuck! But I knew that once I put on those boots, I wasn’t allowed to be a panz. It would be doing the shoes a disservice.
Transformation into Tom Waits: 34 percent complete. Now to master the squeezebox and fall in love with a tragic hooker with poetry in her eyes…
5) Dior Red Lipstick:
Actually, any sort of fancy-pants lipstick will do: Guerlain, Chanel, etc. But it has to be red. It makes you feel like a sexual mistress of a Saul Bellow hero when you put it on at the table, using the knife as a mirror. Leave it on your bedside table so your lovers can see what a sophisticated girl you are.
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Fashion Cats! (via the Hairpin)
HOW DARE THEY USE OUR NAME WE ARE SUING IMMEDIATELY!!!!! NOW WHERE DO I GET A FREE LAWYER!!!!!
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There was a brief time this past winter where I used those Lazy Oaf eyeball rings, a photo of a shitton of Magnum condoms, and a copy of Royal Trux’s Twin Infinitives in every single Polyvore set I made. Those were heady days.
(via Stylesight)
it feels like borninflames has peered deep into professor fashuncat’s soul and made a polyvore out of what she found there
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Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe photographed by Judy Linn
sarah and i talk about patti smith and robert mapplethorpe like once a week, so this picture really needs to be on our blawg
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Belt it!
Amanda alluded to the many uses of belts in one of her previous posts. Today, we expand a little on the subject of waist-wear.
Like Amanda said, a voluminous ensemble can be reigned in by cinching a big belt around the smallest part of your waist, giving you an instant hourglass silhouette.
A belt around the higher part of your ribcage can make your bottom half look longer by comparison, (especially paired with neutral-colored trousers, like the grey above).
JUST BELT IT!!
